Chapter Fifty One

The part where we pace ourselves...

Oct 22, 2025

Hey you,

How are things? Welcome to the last quarter of 2025. I don’t say this to put any pressure (of getting shit done before the year runs out) on you, it’s just an acknowledgement of the season. I’ve been seeing way too many posts about “locking in” and I want to remind you that life is for the living, we don’t need to put unnecessary pressure on ourselves just to be perceived as people who are “doing things.” It’s okay to pace yourself.

Meanwhile, I’m in a mini creative snafu and it’s been difficult to untangle, hence, the #sbphotochallenge25 that is currently running on Instagram. This is totally random, when was the last time you employed your free will to do something out of the ordinary? I’ve been thinking about it a lot and free will is one of life’s best plot twists, you legit to decide your narrative arc. So, indulge it a little today. Do something purely because it delights you. Start a new diet midweek, wear the dramatic top. Let whimsy pave the way for once. And it doesn’t even have to be documented, just do it for you.

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I’m still coming off the high of my birthday and I want to send you a big smooch for all the kind words and well wishes, I pray joy, laughter, and love never depart from your life.(that was so Nigerian aunty-coded, SMH)

Currently reading: I just started listening to Bury Our Bones In The Midnight Soil by V.E Schwab and this might be the third girlie vampire book for me this year and I hope it’s a more memorable experience. have you read it? I’m also listening to The Women of Wild Hill by Kirsten Miller, since I read The Change, I’ve added her to my list of favourite Caucasian female authors. Her books always make use of female rage in the way I like AKA men will die. I’m sure to have added more titles to my rotation by the time you’re reading this so, let’s be friends on Storygraph so we can stalk each other’s reads.
Next show/movie on my watchlist: I just saw the first episode of Would You Marry Me and I’m sold on the premise, I love a marriage of convenience arc and they are doing it so well already. I’m going to pause the watching until all the episodes are out though, I hope I can be patient because this first episode was gorgeous.
A surprising fact I just learned: I’m not surprised per se, I’m just upset finding out that men are primarily the cause of the problem in women fertility issues; miscarriages, morning sickness, diabetes from nowhere! Ugh. Weak sperm. Imagine that! You could be the healthiest woman and boom, weak sperm.
A product I’m loving right now: My Ninja speedi. You know you’re old when you’re excited about a kitchen appliance. I had told my sister we needed to get an air fryer and she made an executive decision to get me the speedi because in her words, “you never ask for anything.” It took me a while to familiarize myself with the tool and now I’m obsessed. I recently slow cooked cowleg in this thing and I had to go and write a review on their website. hehe
What’s on my wish list (bookish or not): For the first time in a long while, my wish list is blank, is this a good thing? I’m guessing that I might have outgrown certain goals or wants, but new ones haven’t formed yet or maybe I’m super content right now.
Most recent book recommendation: I don’t think I’ve received a book recommendation in a long time. Are my peeps not encountering sexy books?
My favourite line from what I’m reading: “You cannot have what you want until you know what you want. And once you do know, it’s only a matter of what you’re willing to do to get it” (Bury Our Bones In The Midnight Soil by V.E Schwab )
A recipe I tried/want to try: Chicken quesadilla. I saw a bunch of recipes on Tiktok and now I’m never going to order for it in any restaurant again, it’s so easy to make. I think Daniel Ochuko’s recipe works well for the Nigerians(or Africans who like heat in their food.)
Most recent purchase: Kitchen tongs. And they’re purple!
Something small that recently brought me joy: Discovering I had a transparent mug that kept my tea hot for a solid 2 hours. I’m still shook.
What I’m currently bingeing: It’s a very slow binge. I’ve been watching Netflix’s My Dearest for over 3 months. It’s an interesting show, I just don’t want it to finish too quickly.
You should check out: this newsletter by
Sade Onabowale
, I really really like her thought process and she’s a an overall cool person.
Something I’m looking forward to: In this next quarter? So, I said yes to a gig that is so far removed from anything I’ve ever done professionally but I’m curious to see how it’s going to work out. I can’t say anything yet because I don’t want to jinx it but I’m really looking forward to it. I even plan to do a journal style newsletter to tell you all about it. Fingers crossed.
What I’m most grateful for: You! Thank you for always indulging me. You’re the sweetest.

And that’s me for now…

Can you do this? I’m sure yours will be smoother, send me pics…

Podcast: Thanks to my snafu, I haven’t been feeding you enough episodes but I’m working on a system to help rectify that. Aside from the usual monthly wrap-up on the podcast, there’s a reader chat(Spotify) with one of my favourite readers, Kiki aka

Akilah

or @ifthisisparadise on Instagram.

A Friendly Reminder…

Please remember to hydrate, eat well, sleep well so you can poop well. Most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself the grace you always extend to others. You need it too, okay?

If you love my content, you can support me by buying me a cup of tea (I’ve finally found a way for non-Nigerian residents to contribute too) or you can give me a shout-out on social media or in real life (prayers are fine too).

See you on the other side, Dearest.

XOXO

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