Chapter Forty Eight
The part where manifestations actually manifest themselves...
Hey you,
It’s been a minute and I have missed you a lot. I know we interact on Instagram and Twitter but it’s just more intimate here, kinda like leaving the sitting room and getting into bed together, you know? Or is that just me? I hope not!
How have you been? Really? In your heart of hearts? Are you okay? For me, the year has been on fast-forward, I keep ticking things off my to-do list but it doesn’t reduce in number, if anything, I have more tasks. I’ve had to get myself a dry erase whiteboard because the digital planners weren’t cutting it anymore.
In my last letter, I prayed and hoped that the universe would hear my plea to leave Nigeria for a few days, imagine my shock when I received the email that made it happen. I was shook. A time was had though, you can prolly tell from my day 1, day 2, day 4, and highlights recap. I even talked about it on the podcast.
I apologise in advice for the length of this letter but I feel like I need to get something off my chest, it’s been bothering me for a while.
Just how often do you hold yourself back from asking for what you need?
I always have the strong urge to solve my problems on my own instead of leaning on my support systems when I need help. All this to avoid the feeling of being a burden, does this sound familiar? Friend, we need to stop doing this. If you think about it, if your friend did it to you, you’d probably feel bad, and the beauty of friends or relationships is sharing. We share happy moments, sad moments, so why rob our people the opportunity to help us? If they can.
In my experience so far, people want to help more than we realize. I believe most of us are deeply prosocial and want to make a positive difference in others’ lives. In instances where you’ve gone out of your way to help, didn’t you feel happier after conducting these acts of kindness?
The issue is, in reality, the majority of help occurs only after a request has been made. And it’s not because people don’t want to help and must be pressured to do so. Quite the opposite, people want to help, but they can’t help if they don’t know someone is suffering or struggling, or what the other person needs and how to help effectively, or whether it is their place to help, perhaps they want to respect others’ privacy.
A direct request can remove those uncertainties, asking for help enables kindness and unlocks opportunities for positive social connections. It can also create emotional closeness when you realize someone trusts you enough to share their vulnerabilities. Gosh, I feel like a preacher. But on a serious and final note, you may be offering them(your persons) a gift: a chance to be close to you and to have their sense of competency reaffirmed by being helpful.
Or what do you think?
Currently reading: You know me and my polyreading, lol. I’m reading The Thirty Before Thirty List by Tasneem Abdur-Rashid, Mrs Kuti by Remilekun Ransome-Kuti, How To Kill A Rock Star by Tiffanie DeBartolo & Fight Night by Miriam Toews. By the time, you’re reading this, I’m sure I’d have added more to the rotation, so let’s be friends on Storygraph so we can stalk each other.
Next show/movie on my watchlist: Every one and their grandma is raving about Netflix’s the Trauma Code: Heroes On Call, and I do love a good medical show. I’m also catching up on Singles Inferno season 3, I finished season but but it annoyed so much and reminded me that I hadn’t finished S3 which is the best so far.
A surprising fact I just learned: The Maggi brand originated in Switzerland. The seasoning! So, in the 1880s, Julius Maggi, an entrepreneur, created the brand after taking over his father's mill. Maggi's goal was to improve the nutritional intake of working families. WTF! Did you know this?
A product I’m loving right now: My colouring book! I didn’t know how much I needed a colouring book until I got one. Highly recommended!
What’s on my wishlist (bookish or not): I want to collaborate with a hotel for a staycation type of content creation. I know it’s not something I’ve done before but I’d like to try it and I can’t afford all the hotels I have my eye on, lol, hence the collaboration. Hear my plea, universe!
Most recent book recommendation: Star author Adesuwa O’Man Nwokedi recommended I read How To Kill A Rock Star by Tiffanie DeBartolo, this is already one of her favourite books of the year. Even Chinenye of
enjoyed it immensely and I don’t like to be left out of a good time.My favourite line from what I’m reading: “[W]hat makes a tragedy bearable and unbearable is the same thing—which is that life goes on.” -Fight Night by Miriam Toews.
A recipe I tried/want to try: I am yet to make the fried catfish stew that I mentioned in my last letter but my new craving is Um Ali. I had this everyday in Sharjah and I’m obsessed. It means "Mother of Ali" and it’s a traditional Egyptian dessert. It’s a crispy puff pastry, smothered with a sweet cream and milk mixture and topped with an array of nuts, raisins and coconut. Orgasmic but RIP if you’re lactose intolerant.
Most recent purchase: my dry erase whiteboard. I actually wish I could it sooner, I already feel more organized. Also, it’s pretty cool to stand with a pen to the board when brainstorming, I love the solving-a-crime aesthetic.
Something small that recently brought me joy: these earrings shaped like Heineken bottles, lol
What I’m currently bingeing: Fancy Nancy! I love this show so much and when I’m stressed, it’s one of my favourite things to watch, I just let her play in the background, it’s healing. Just check this out and let me know what you think.
Something I’m looking forward to: the Something Bookish Silent Reading Party & the Something Bookish podcast 100th episode live event!
What I’m most grateful for: the ease at which I say NO. I think this is a skill we all need to get better at.
And that’s me for now…
Book Club: There’s a separate Substack now dedicated to all things book club, so let’s meet over there.
Podcast: I’m on a little break so, there’ll be no new episodes until April 2025. Prepare to be sick of me then!
Events: In collaboration with Goethe Institute, I’m hosting my first ever silent reading party on March 15th and I’m super excited to share some quality reading time with you.
Can you believe that you’ve listened to 99 episodes of the podcast? I can’t believe I really did it. To celebrate entering the triple digits, we’re having a live show! You can get tickets HERE.
A Friendly Reminder…
Please remember to hydrate, eat well, sleep well, and poop well. Most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself the grace you always extend to others. You need it too, okay?
If you love my content, you can support me by buying me a cup of tea (I’ve finally found a way for non-Nigerian residents to contribute too) or you can give me a shout-out on social media or in real life (prayers are fine too).
See you on the other side, Dearest.
XOXO
My darling babe ❤️