Chapter Thirty Five
The part where letting go becomes a life skill...
Hey you,
How are things? It’s been two weeks since I wrote to you and I hope you’ve been okay. Are you okay? Maybe this song would uplift you a little.
Whenever I’m feeling blue, I listen to it.
You're my silver lining, you're the one who just light me (up)
Oh, I can always feel you beside me.
The lyrics remind me of messages I receive from fellow readers, podcast listeners, or book club members. I thought my love languages were quality time and physical touch but the older I get, words of affirmation are starting to give me warm fuzzy feelings. Have you noticed anything different about the way you receive and give love?
So, you know how I’m always on your case about starting something new? Well, I think it’s time to balance it out and share that it’s also okay to quit. Why? Personal change needs a little space to happen. To bring something new into your life, you need somewhere to put it.
The English word “quit” comes from old French, meaning “to free” or “to release”. (Since I read Babel by R. F. Kuang, I’ve been consciously checking out the etymology of words now and it’s changed my perspective on so many things)
Anyhoo, perseverance is critical to success but stubbornly pursuing a goal isn't always the best thing. Letting go is also an important skill to have, and it can be a healthy and beneficial option.
When you’ve invested a lot of time in something, or are simply feeling fixated on seeing something through to the end, it can feel hard to quit. Quitting can make you feel like a failure. You may feel frustrated at letting go of all that you have invested into an effort. And change is often scary, sometimes because you don’t know what’s next, and you’re facing the unknown. And I’m very aware that in our society, we predominantly get messaging that people who persevere are better than those who quit, but that is only one perspective and not always true.
I still love everything I quit. But not as much as I love all this room for change. I know I talk about starting and doing things afraid, I just want to remind you that you can stop something when you've had enough of it or you feel its control over you can’t be managed. Sometimes you lose a little — you lose face, you lose money, you lose a goal that you’ve clung to — but in the long term, when you plug the drain, you gain a lot more.
The second half of the year has begun, how’s your reading life? Have you been able to find some joy in books? I’m genuinely curious, so write to me about this. Please. I’m desperately doing my best to escape my reality so I’m currently watching four Kdramas. Netflix’s recent romcoms, King The Land & See You In My 19th are giving me something to look forward to on the weekends with very cutesy vibes. Remember Kim Tae-Ri from Twenty-Five, Twenty-One? She has a new horror show where she is possessed by a demon, The Revenant. If you don’t like scary stuff, you should probably stay away from this one. Finally, I’m watching Move To Heaven with the family, my mum is new to Kdramas and I think I’ve successfully converted her.
The Indulgent Bibliophile is reading The Middle Daughter by Chika Unigwe and the book chat day is the 30th of July, click here to register if you’re interested in joining the discussion. I’m reading a lot and I’ll share my mid-year faves in another letter. Or should I make it a podcast episode? Meanwhile, you can track your reads with me on Storygraph or participate in the Something Bookish Reading Challenge.
This is getting longer than I anticipated so imma let you go now. Please remember to hydrate, eat well, sleep well, and poop well. Most importantly, don’t forget to give yourself the grace you always extend to others. You need it too, okay?
If you love my content, please do consider supporting me by buying me a cup of tea (I’ve finally found a way non-Nigerian readers can contribute) or by giving me a shout-out on social media or in real life (prayers are fine too).
See you on the other side, Dearest.
XOXO